Alas, poor Greedo. I knew him, Chewbacca.

I should know better than to hang out with bounty hunters, anyway. Sigh.

Anyway, I've been having a temporary run of bad luck lately. The guy I work for is unhappy about losing his cargo, and I'm going to have to pay for it. It's unfair, but it's an unfair galaxy.

No worries though. I picked up a sweet fare that will square the deal. Just transport a couple of people to another system, and that will be that. I thought they wouldn't sign up with me for a moment, but once I told them how my ship did the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs, I could tell they were impressed.

Unfortunately, no sooner had they booked passage than I ran into my old pal Greedo.

Greedo. Greedo, Greedo, Greedo. What could he possibly have been thinking?

Greedo and I both work for the same guy. We've hung out together, gone drinking together, played Sabacc together, and run from troopers together. I don't have any real what you would call 'friends' in this business (except Chewie of course), but Greedo and I were pretty tight. Not really friends though, more like friendly rivals.

But, as much as we liked each other, we both liked credits more. It wasn't personal, it was business. As it turns out, my former employer is tired of waiting for me to earn the credits to pay him back. He's keen on making an example out of me. Just my luck to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, he's put a price on my head so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for me. Unluckily for Greedo, he found me first.

I tried to explain that I have (soon) the money to pay Jabba (my old boss), and would you believe it? Greedo asked for it. As if I would give him the money to get him out of my face. What would I do for the next bounty hunter? Stupid, greedy, Greedo. He could have handled my paying Jabba back and collected a finders fee, but that wasn't enough for him. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I could tell that Greedo was going to kill me. Far better that then to risk my escaping on the way to Jabba's. It didn't matter that we had been somewhat friends, that I had had dinner with him and his family, that he had confided in me when the Fett started stealing all the good bounties. Nothing mattered but the job, and Greedo was going to do it as professionally as he could.

Of course, a REAL professional would have just shot me from behind, but Greedo was fatally sentimental. One last chat with a pal. Foolish Greedo.

I fried him, of course, else how could I be telling you all this? I fried poor Greedo, without hesitation, as soon as I thought he was really going to kill me.

I'll have to have someone doctor the security tape to make it look like he shot first, of course. I don't need any more imperial trouble, especially not for a small fry like Greedo.

Anyway, gotta fly. One more quick job, and my debt will be cleared, and after that it's all profit. I've got a good feeling about this.
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Poor Guido. He got all crispa.
You did THE Kessel Run in 12 parcecs? No way, man. I mean, like, no way, man! 12? No! Parcecs? Nuh-huh? That ship must be the fastest hunk of junk in the Galaxy! Impressive, most impressive. And it's not just the Ether talking. Wait, yes it is.
The chair just turned into a million snakes and there is a hole in my shoe.

6/21/2005 03:15:00 AM  
Blogger umchaos said...

i've got a bad feeling about this, han.

6/21/2005 03:54:00 AM  
Blogger Han Solo said...

Snakes... I hate snakes. Why does it always have to be snakes?

6/21/2005 07:27:00 AM  
Blogger Han Solo said...

Chewie tells me that parsecs is a measurement for distance, not time. Hmm. No wonder the old man got such a pained expression on his face.

No worries though, I'll have someone mock up some sort of variable-distance race or something. Like, a bunch of freighters take off in different directions from a starting point, and the goal is to catch up to them all. That's kind of stupid, but that's just off the top of my head. I'm sure something better will come up. Hey, it's either that or admit that I made a mistake.

I don't make mistakes. I'm Han Solo, bitch! Trust me.

6/27/2005 04:03:00 PM