Finally!

We're here! We're coming up on Alderaan as I type this. I'll have these clowns dropped off and my credits in hand within the hour. Then I'll have Jabba paid off, and with luck, no Imperial entanglements.

My luck is finally coming around! I'm so happy!

Be back soon!

This May Not Be The Best Time

This may not be the best time to point it out, seeing as how we're on the run from the Imperial slugs, but I just caught my reflection off a panel, and it brought to mind an important question:

Can you believe how sexy I am?

I mean, DAMN!

It's almost beyond comprehension.

Sometimes I wish I were a woman, just so I could get with me, 'cause I'm so damn sexy.

Wait, that didn't quite sound right...

Watch That Seeker!

That blasted kid! I was minding my own business, and his stupid remote had a targeting malfunction and shot me in the junk!

I don't mind if he wants to practice with that stupid ancient weapon (like being good against remotes is even close to being good against people), but not if he's just going to wander off blindly because he has the blast shield down on his helmet! He left the seeker with nothing to target, and I wandered in at the wrong time.

This trip is getting worse and worse. How can my luck POSSIBLY be this bad?

And thanks for the image, old buddy. Don't think I don't realize that you must have been waiting in that room for me to walk in. Some partner you are. I can imagine your train of thought: "Hmm, warn Han that there's a rogue seeker running loose or lay in wait with an imager? Choices..." Laugh it up, furball; we'll see who laughs last.

We can't get to Alderaan soon enough.

On Our Way

An old kook, a farmboy, an effeminate droid, and a rubbish bin.

What is so special about them that I had to run from 3 (count 'em, three) Imperial cruisers when we left Tatooine? I knew they were desperate (no one pays 17,000 credits for a passenger run unless they're desperate), but I really thought it was just some local trouble. I see I wasn't thinking big enough.

So, this trip will net me the credits to pay off Jabba, but if the Imps figure out that I was the one who helped these guys escape, I'll be in even more trouble. Out of the carbonite, into the sarlacc pit, as they say. I always wondered what that meant.

On the other hand, I can add "Myself, the boy, two droids, and no questions asked" to my list of sexually suggestive lines I've heard. Hey, I gotta keep myself amused somehow; these interstellar runs are long.

This trip in particular seems extra long. The old man is a religious nut, and I can't stand religious zealots. I mean, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense. I highly suggest that any "force" believers read the Force Skeptics page.

And the kid! He needs a crash course in who really runs the Empire. I can't imagine growing up in such a sheltered environment as he did. No wonder he whines so much, he hasn't had to go through any real hardship yet.

I can't wait to get to Alderaan. The sooner I separate from these loonies, the sooner I can get back to my normal life.